Coco Counts. What they don't tell you is that Coco is counting how many non sequitur arguments she can throw at a confused audience before they throw this book into the fireplace. Let's just recap on basic logic for a moment here.

Let's determine if the following statement is true:

If p, then q

where p = if one chick is good

and q = two chicks are better

This is easy enough to tackle. Sure. Two chicks are better than one. Three's a crowd, unless it's in the sack. This is a children's book, however, and we're not going there. You can trust the author's judgement to be sound enough to avoid love making between pages one and seven. But by page eight, you have to wonder if the author dropped a hit of acid. "If five chicks are hungry . . . should eight stay awake?" I guess if you're living in a communist dystopia where one's parents must work 12-hour night shifts to earn a crust of bread for their starving children then yes. Yes, eight chicks should stay awake to work for their starving children. Other than that hypothetical context, I have no idea why the hell five chicks being hungry would lead to the necessity of eight chicks staying awake, especially when six are going to bake a damned cake anyway. Wait. Taking that into consideration, even the hypothetical suggestion I present above doesn't make sense. These chicks are going to eat because six others are going to bake a cake. Why, then, must eight stay awake? I guess the correct answer is no. Eight chicks do not have to stay awake. But my brain just keeps shouting "WTF! Does not compute!"

Then it gets even more confusing. Here's the next logic problem: If a bunch of baby chickens play sports, and a bunch more play musical instruments, then when we count to one hundred will it turn the whole world yellow? What. The. $#!T? It's a damned good thing chickens don't play soccer and cellos or we'd live in a very drab world, at least according to the warped logic of the author.

What this story teaches children is that form takes precedence over function in poetics. I'm starting to understand why I see lines reminiscent of "she's my girl/she makes my life a swirl" and "She's the apple of my eye/I should buy her a pie" on Poetry.com and other websites of equal caliber. It's because books like Coco Counts exist.

The pictures are cute though.